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Start a fire. Doesn’t matter how big. The chaos of flames is calming. It’s only arson if you get caught.
Ripley Noble Shepard
I feel like I don’t want a cat nearly as much as I used to. I see them all over my dashboard.
| Police officer: | Hello ma'am, my name is (inaudible phrase) and I've stopped you because your windows are tinted too dark. I don't know what the law is out there in Colorado, but out here the limit is 17% (pulls out gadget) and yours are at 27%. |
| Me: | I wasn't aware. My parents had the windows on this car tinted nearly ten years ago. |
| PO: | Oh. (examines license, etc) So, you from Colorado? |
| Me: | Yes sir, born and raised. |
| PO: | Do you have any marijuana in your car? The state laws of Tennessee prohibit the possession of marijuana. |
| Me: | No? |
| PO: | Are you sure? None of your friends have had marijuana in your car recently? |
| Me: | No, sir. I haven't had anyone in this car. |
| PO: | I'm gonna have my dog sniff around. (dog acts like it smells something; then proceeds to claw my car) |
| Me: | (silently cursing the dog) |
| PO: | Are you sure you don't have any sort of narcotics in your possession? |
| Me: | Yes, sir. |
| PO: | I'm gonna search your car. |
| Me: | Okay? |
| PO: | (proceeds to search around the front passenger seat) All right, well, I'm just gonna let you off with a warning; you have a safe rest of your trip. You have a long way to go. |
| Me: | Thanks a lot. |
| This dude also asked me if I had any weapons in the car. As though a 20-year-old woman who happens to be from a state with legalized marijuana use, traveling alone, is also armed. I have no problem with the standard procedures policemen follow. But this dude had no premise to assume what he did. I'm not even mad about it. I personally think it's pretty fucking hysterical. |